shit's outta control

LEARNING TO LOVE AGAIN.

jk but srsly needed this.

photo by: kt auleta

quite the emphatic pause, no?  i didn’t mean to take that much time off…i just sort of forgot about this little guy and got busy with some other, like, paying things.

anyway, i wanted to revisit an old fave of mine: mr. cornett.  i usually just linger on his rotten still lifes, but today i went a little further and found this gem.  i’m ready for summer and barbeques and watermelon and unprofessionally short shorts and sweaty flip flops and sweaty underwear and tans and burns and SPF 15 (<—LIVING ON THE EDGE).

also, i will do this more.  please tell me if there’s anything you’d like to see.

photo by: grant cornett

note: this was written yesterday.

sometimes i wish i were a better writer so that when things happen like what happened today, i could write something wonderfully thought provoking and appropriately insightful.  clearly, however, i communicate best when provoked by images, which is why i wanted to share these photos that my dad, a Boston-based photographer, has taken throughout the duration of his long career.  he is my role model when it comes to portraiture and he is who i constantly allude to when i stress the importance of capturing people looking their best.  often, his job is to go into homes or shelters where people have hit their all-time-lows and make these people look like superheroes.  i have never seen him exploit a grim situation by capturing someone looking terrible simply for the art and excitement of it, a temptation that i think many photographers are unable to resist.

these photos highlight the beauty of the people of the town that i so often speak so poorly of.  since i moved to los angeles, i’ve found myself constantly making fun of boston.  i make fun of the accent and the culture and the way people dress and the way people look and how boring it is to visit and how i would hate to move back there.  i’m almost certain i don’t actually feel this way, but it certainly makes me feel less homesick when i say these things out loud.  

and then something happens like what happened today and i realize how homesick i really am.

but, on a lighter note, and while i’m talking about family, i’d like to share one more thing.  

i called my mother today to make sure she was ok.  she was fine, thank goodness, and she was about to leave for the gym.  we talked briefly about the events of today and then she interjected, “do you want to hear something more lighthearted?” and of course i said yes.  she proceeded to tell me the most simple story i’ve heard in days.  it was about how lately she’s been making banana bread and the other day she went to grab the brown sugar and found that the package was covered in confectioners sugar.  she directed her attention to the box of confectioners sugar and found a hole in the side of it, about the size of a mouse’s face.  now, for a bit of backstory, it’s important that i stress how CLEAN my condo was growing up.  i could have dined off the hardwood floors or simply run my tongue along the bathroom sink and never wound up sick, so the fact that there’s been any kind of rodent activity is downright STUNNING.  therefore, when i heard this anecdote from my mom, i immediately reacted with disgust and sympathy.  however, i was merely met by her response: “but can you imagine how sweet that must have looked?  a little mouse with his face all powdery white.”

kids.  this is optimism.  this is a silver lining.  this is finding the good.

i’m trying to take this attitude and apply it.  i hope you can too.

things will get better.

photos by: greig cranna

whew!  sometimes the best things in life are photos of ketchup packets and eggs and pepperoni (???) sandwiches and i’m NOT being facetious.  i actually had a pretty jarring run-in with a ketchup packet in second grade and i’m almost certain that memory contributes to my attraction to levi brown’s top photo.  

the tragic tale takes place in the depths of the winter in cambridge, massachusetts.  i was seven; naive and unacquainted with the dark, ugly side of humanity.  on this particular day, it was snowing outside, so all the kids in my class wore boots to school, but brought a change of shoes for during the day.  we would leave our boots in the hall to dry out until it was time to go on our way at the end of the day and generally they would just sit there, UNTOUCHED.

on this particular day, however, some shithead asshole of a fifth or sixth grader dropped a single packet of ketchup into my left LLBean boot.  and of course, the moment my innocent little foot touched down, it burst, along with my hopes, dreams, and positive perception of humanity.  

that’s a dramatization, but i did actually cry quite a bit.  my best friend couldn’t hold it together and got sent to time out for laughing in my face.  (speaking of my bff, you can follow her on instagram at @foxcoop.  she takes gorgeous photos of dead animals).  i’m over it now, but i’m pretty sure the stain never came out of my boot.  

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

god, sometimes all you need in life is to be listening to a little (a lot) of taylor swift and coming across work like ben pier’s.  have you guys ever juxtaposed teen-angst pop rock with urban lifestyle photography?  if not, i highly recommend it as a pretty decent alternative to drugs, alcohol, and SSRI’s.

and speaking of mood altering, i don’t think this is the place for me to go into detail about why my 2013 has been a little rough around the edges, so i’ll simply say that i’ve sort of been living moment to moment this year and some moments are good and some moments are bad and some are really bad, but some are better than good.  and the better than good ones may be semi-rare, but they’re incredibly precious and i suppose that’s sort of how life is for anyone and, hey, i’m not here trying to sound extra stand-out or anything.  i mean, i think we all really take note of our better than good moments when we’re not busy worrying about when they’ll be over.  

so i simply came here to say that ben’s portfolio reminds me of those super precious moments and i hope it does the same for you.  happy tuesday.

i was gonna keep it simple today, since it’s been a little while and i feel like i need a gentle ease-in, but then i landed on susanna howe’s lifestyle work and felt that it was more important to throw this little guy up.  we all know i can’t really get down with lifestyle work, but susanna’s series for aldo is truly all kinds of beautiful.  

and i swear this shot grabbed me for reasons other than the sunglasses.  i guess i fell for it because it’s such a gimmick, but in the best way.  i’m pretty sure it pretty much sums up what most girls would define as ultimate quality of life: to have the time to sit still with a bowl of something muesli-ish and some good books and a lovely dress and clean socks and natural light and organic cotton sheets and just be so thin and beautiful.  if only.

i’m guessing i’m not alone when i say that if i tried to recreate this scene, i’d DEF run into a few problems.  (1) i’d be starving an hour later.  no one actually eats cereal for breakfast.  (2) i’d be wearing clean socks, but then i’d realize it was street cleaning day or something and run outside in a panic before putting on shoes.  (3) until i reach a certain level of maturity, my sheets will always be covered in coffee stains.  they will also be from ikea.  (4) i’d be so caught up in wondering how cute i looked in that dress that i wouldn’t be able to focus on reading.  (5) i’d change into a sweatsuit.  (6) i still wouldn’t be able to focus on reading because i’d “need” to check a “few things” on my computer.  (7) i’d check a few things on my computer.  (8) then a few more things.  (9) the natural light would be problematic with my computer screen, so i’d close the blinds.  (10) no light=no need for cute sunglasses.  

result: me, in the dark, in a sweatsuit, in dirty socks, on my computer, obsessively checking my analytics.

for the sake of my mood today, i’m gonna assume this is someone’s idea of quality of life.

michael flores and i share a client, which is how i discovered his diverse portfolio.  his photos are all super different, but michael’s editing style and tonal choices link them all together (feels weird not starting that sentence with “i think”, but i’m trying to be more definite in my THINKING…but, you know, if you disagree, jump on in)

i guess it’s important to bring this up now.  i don’t like dogs.  i’m not scared of them, though that’s what i tell dog owners, since it seems so cruel to tell them that their best friend is filthy and disgusting.  the problem is, dog owners are so crazy defensive, that even when you tell them you’re scared of their pet, they come back at you with something like “oh, i know she looks like a TEN FOOT FIRE BREATHING PITBULL, but she’s a RESCUE and a MIX and she’s SO SWEET.”  (ps. dog owners: while telling me that your dog is a rescue makes YOU look like a decent person, it only serves to make your dog sound like a vendetta-carrying rage-a-holic with YEARS of therapy ahead of her/him)

not to mention, that’s where the word choice gets weird.  if by “sweet”, you mean “she’ll stick her nose in all the areas you never want touched by a domesticated animal and then coat your ankles with ringworm-y saliva WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION”, then sure.  your dog is super sweet.

MEAT FEST.  

i’m loving anais & dax’s food photography right now and especially love how often they photograph finished meals, rather than pristine meals.  i mean, honestly most of the time, the food we see has been partially or entirely eaten.

aaaaand speaking of these pics, i’m not so stoked on meat right now, after working on a shoot all week with tons and tons of carcasses.  i keep thinking i’ll just go vegan, but then i straight FORGET and order steak tartare, seared tuna, shrimp ravioli, and a cheeseburger (see: wednesday night).  but i’m gonna try to start trying to remember more.  

ugh whatever.  i’m already quitting smoking.  i’ll do my best.

i mean, obviously after a week-long out-of-town/work/family hiatus this is what i would lead off with.  partially because no portraiture has grabbed me in a real way, but also because i came across nick ferrari’s still life work and OBVIOUSLY WANT TO EAT IT UP.

also.  guys.  i’m quitting smoking for real this time and i’m really excited about it.  

i’m so mesmerized by andrea gjestvang’s series “everyone knows this is nowhere” on norwegian teens in finnmark, which documents the conflict that exists in the teenage lifestyle when the immediate surrounding culture is wrought with unemployment from old school industries, yet access to the internet serves as a constant reminder of what life COULD be and, thus, the daily struggle to feign normal adolescence (prob the longest sentence i’ve ever written.  grammatically fine, though, right?)

i think the photos are gorgeous and the kids are gorgeous and the lifestyle is sad, but so sincere.  i don’t envy this new generation of kids who don’t know what childhood is like without the internet and i feel very lucky to have grown up with the real world as my only option.  

i will say, though, considering the “strain” these kids face, their day-to-day (as portrayed through these photos) looks pretty similar to normal, old-school teenage years.  i never curled my eyelashes (tried once- saw no difference) but i’ve certainly hung out in the doritos aisle and had a gnarly…neck bruise…and i’ve definitely sat on the sidelines of a semi-formal because the only kid who would ask me to dance was ugly and i was too young to know that personality can drastically outweigh looks.  luckily, though, during these years, i didn’t have facebook and twitter and instagram and tumblr and vine and snapchat all breathing down my neck and urging me to figure out my brand and telling me lies about what beauty is.  

i did, however, have to deal with pogs and tomagochis and those yo-yos that had, like, a “brain” or whatever??  that shit was annoying.  we’ve all got hurdles.